The Real Me

Yep, I did it too L. I will bear my soul to the world & say "Forget You" to anyone who has an issue with it! Hmm, that felt kinda nice.

1. I have a lot of friends that I TRY to keep in touch with, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way

2. I miss CA, my friends, and all of its WARM SUNNY days, but I know NC is where I need to be.

3. I would give anything for a few bottles of Knott's Berry Farm Boysenberry Syrup! Yes, maybe even my first born, LOL. So, if you are reading this, my BDAY is in MARCH!

4. I am addicted to BIG BROTHER! I can't wait 'til it starts up again. Wanna be a contestant with me L?

5. I too take my food apart and eat it piece by piece, even if I just made a sandwich myself, it still comes apart!

6. I love my Hubby, but he gets on my nerves sometimes & his BAGGAGE has a name & I have to try my best to get along with it every day for the sake of an innocent child & and my own sanity.

7. Yes, I have issues with hubby having a "practice marriage," but I am not allowed to have those feelings because all it would do is cause problems. I hate he shared "firsts" with someone else, but at the same time we do have our own "firsts" with each other. I may not be first, but I am FOREVER!

8. I am one of those weird people who LOVED high school. Sure, I had bad moments, but isn't that life?

9. I miss college, in a nostalgic way. I had a great time, despite all the drama that may have happened every now & then. I miss the friends who were my family that I don't even speak to anymore.

10. I have a not-so-secret thing for monkeys - just to make it clear, MONKEYS HAVE TAILS. If it doesn't have a tail, I will not accept it's "monkeyness" no matter what the tag may say!

11. I love my blog. I can put my thoughts, feelings, and everything else in writing & clear my head...my friends and family (and others) know everything. If I cared what people read it, I wouldn't post it. I am not like some people who censor their lives. Its all right here for everyone to read.

12. I am OCD about some things.

13. I love Monster like my own and it pisses me off when certain people use the term "step mom" to try to put me in my place. I realize that is what I am in a Webster's sort of way, but I have been in her life since she was 6 months old. People adopt babies all the time and no one calls them "adoptive mother" everyday. Yes, her Bio-mother is still in the picture. Great, she will have two women who love her unconditionally for her entire life! That is still no reason to try to minimize my relationship with her.

14. I am afraid of the damage all this DRAMA with bio-mom will cause Monkey. It has already taken its toll on her, and she is only 2 years old. What hurts most is there is nothing I can do to prevent it, except what I am already doing. I mean, come on, how many 2 year olds sleep with their sister's pillow when she isn't there...or cry every time their sister leaves the house? Yes, it is getting better now that we have custody...and I hope it goes away altogether with time, but what other things are we missing?

15. I HATE that someone else used to have the power to control my life. Not anymore. I control my emotions and actions to better myself and my family, they come first.

16. I hate that most of my brothers ad sisters are truly ass holes. No, honestly, they are. I am not sure what went wrong, but they have no consideration for anyone but themselves & have no aspirations for life.

17. I miss my mom. She moved to another state one month before Monkey was born. Yeah, she visits, but I am sad she is missing out on the girls' lives.

18. I am a procrastinator. If I can do it tomorrow, it is not getting done today. This is kinda weird, cause it kinda makes me a little neurotic, LOL. I can't stand to have a "messy" house, but at the same time, I would rather play with my girls than vacuum sometimes. GRRRR! I'll just hire a maid, that should fix it, RIGHT?

19. I call my mother-in-law Satan every now and then. No, not because I hate her, she is actually great. Mostly I do it, cause its funny. She actually tells people that I call her that! LOL

20. Matt & I are going to try to add another member to our family, soon, but not right now. We have an appointment at the Birth Center TONIGHT - an hour and a half away. We are sad that the BC where we had Monkey is no longer having births at the center. We DO NOT want to have a "hospital birth" for so many reasons. I'll probably post a blog of all that stuff later when we are pregnant though.

21. It scares me to be "trying" because of the issues that surround my body & its negative reaction to pregnancy at first. My body rejects the pregnancy hormone like it is a disease. Once we get past the 3-4 month point we should be safe & we'll tell people. SO, don't feel bad if you are "the last to know."

22. I am going to be 25 in 48 days & I can't wait!

23. I have been married for 3 years in 4 months 1 week and 2 days! AND YES, Monkey will turn 3 on the same day!I LOVE MY LIFE even with all its drama!!!