Hey people! I have a few minutes to spare while Monkey sleeps & my tiny one is sitting in her playpen playing with toys. YES, I said SITTING! Saturday night she sat up from a lying flat position, so I figured it was coming soon, but OMGosh not this soon! Last night, I laid her down in the playpen (which still had the bassinet in it) and turned around to get her a few toys & when I turned back, she was sitting on her knees trying to pull up! AAARGH! Don’t get me wrong, I am SO happy that she is so smart, but I want her to stay my baby for at least a little while longer!
But anyway, that’s not what this blog is about! I wanted to share about our church’s Truth Project and its effect on me so far!
The past two Sundays we studied Creationism vs. Darwinism (evolution). We looked at all the evidence science gives to prove Evolution. I even DVR’d the specials on “Ardi” that came on the Discovery Channel because I wanted to be educated a little more on what Science is saying about where we came from. Do you know how many holes & contradicting theories there are about evolution? Do some real research & find out more! Anyway, I feel I can honestly have an intelligent conversation about my faith vs. evolution after we’ve put science under a microscope.
Then, this week, a different question was posed to us. “If someone put your life under a microscope, would Christianity be proven or would there be unexplainable holes?” WOW! Talk about sending the message home!
I’ve attended Church & been a Christian as long as I can remember. My church was my second home through middle school. As I entered HS, I strayed so far from my faith. I still attended church & played “Christian” when it fit into MY schedule or benefited me. You don’t have to be a genius to figure out that Mady was born the day we got married!
We attend Sundays for Church & choir, Weds for AWANA, and any other day anything is going on. My girls are immersed in church. They are strong in what they are being taught @ church. But where is God in our home? Sure, we pray before meals, have bedtime prayer, memorize their AWANA verses, and little things like that. But, where is He really? Do they see us turn to God when we have needs? Do they see us thank him for his blessings daily? No, just when it fits into our schedule.
I’ll be the first one to admit I am not perfect. Who is? But what really got me thinking was our small group discussion last night. We talked about our kids & what they see. How many times is it “do as I say, not as I do?” How can I look at my girls’ innocent faces & deny them a true Christian role model? How can I deny them the Peace of God that they deserve to know?
I have nothing to hide, transparency does not scare me. In fact, it holds me accountable! I know that there will be those that read this & laugh or say “see, I told you so.” But so what, I am a hypocrite. Feel better about yourself for laughing? I know that you’re hurting & I’ll pray that you get past your anger one day. I know I feel better admitting my wrongs to myself because I know that I am doing something about it! Starting yesterday!
I know it won’t happen overnight. It will be a rocky road that we will stumble & fall upon. People & obstacles will be placed in our way to test our commitment. My reply to that is BRING IT ON! I am not afraid to fall with Him behind me. My girls are such an inspiration to me! All I have to do is look at them & I know that we are doing our best. Their first steps are nothing compared to hearing them say “Mommy, did you know Jesus loves me & I love him?” or “Can I take my Bible for share day because my friend hasn’t seen one before.” OMGosh! How can I allow myself to stand in their way of knowing Him like that?
My family is more important to me than breathing. I have put up with so much that I never thought I would. My husband & I have made it through the last 5 years (well, 4 yrs 10 months) with minimal scarring, LOL! “That which doth not kill me maketh me stronger” really is true. We’ve come a long way & still have a long way to go. God has blessed us more than we deserve. He’s placed 3 beautiful daughters in our home. It is our job to give them the guidance, love, and support to not only succeed in the world, but also to find their spiritual gifts & use them to do His will. Its time for us to see the BIG PICTURE and stop worrying about our small role!
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