Another Update

WOOHOO! It's Sunday night & everything is all right, LOL! Time for a little update for those I can't keep up with every day...I still love you all though!

Last week was very busy, but interesting.

We met w/Ash's counselor & I am happy to say that she is coming along quite well in her confidence. She feels that Ashley is getting better at expressing her feelings instead of holding them in, she is becoming more independent, and making great strides toward being completely comfortable with making her OWN choices. As far as her mother goes, her counselor feels Matt should give her only the information required in the order until she chooses to cooperate like an equal parent in Ashley's life in ALL respects.

She feels sad that Ashley is being punished by not getting to participate on "her" time. She is also concerned about some statements that were recently made by Ashley. Apparently, she overheard her mother saying that she wished Matt would be shot at work & that a stranger would kill me, Mady & the baby. WOW, what a depraved soul! As much as I dislike her, I would never wish her child harm. That is completely unexceptable. Anyway, now Ashley is afraid every time Matt goes to work. We're working on it by letting her call him right before bed & any time she wakes up during the night.

I don't know why her mother thinks Ashley is so unhappy. Then again, maybe it makes her feel better about the situation. I guess we'll never know. Ashley is such a happy girl in all that she does. I wish that she could see that without all the drama, Ashley could be even happier. I mean, wouldn't it be nice if she could feel that she could love both parents without feeling like she is hurting someone? We've made her feel that on our end & it has really changed her perspective. She knows that she is welcome to talk to us about anything, no matter what.

In fact, she loves to talk about her other sister (whose name will not be used here) at her mother's house & how much she is growing. Yeah, she complains that she cries all the time (she's only about a year old & apparently teething), but we explain that she did the same thing when she was little.

Her counselor feels that we are really doing what is best for Ash by giving her the security to express her feelings about BOTH homes without fear of reprimand or redirection. No, I don't love hearing about "them" but it's what Ashley needs that is important & it really only happens on Sun?mon right after we pick her up or other mini-random Ashley moments, LOL. So, we listen & help her process her thoughts a little. Then, we simply change the subject. It is getting much easier and it really is making her transitions much easier.

Her counselor also mentioned that Ashley was bothered by how much her mother was "bugging her about Kamrynn." GEEZ! Come on, can we not have anything that she doesn't interfere with? Yeah, we did ask Ashley not to tell her about OUR baby until we were ready. I don't think there is anything wrong in that. Matt & I wanted to tell our family & friends first. As his ex, she is neither of those two categories. She is the last person that has the right to know. Why should we feel obligated to tell her? Especially after her intrusion and feeling of entitlement with our miscarriage last May. Why she would question a 5 yr old until she cries is beyond me. She could have just asked us if she were that curious. Then again, obviously, when I posted it on myspace it was public knowledge.

Anyway, she also let us know that the craziness on the mother's end will probably get worse before it gets better (of course) because she will try to amp it up when we don't react. Let's hope we can stand our ground.

Enough of that...

Matt & I helped out with Ashley's kindergarten "Spring Madness" day. They explored Paper & Wood. Each of the four classes had a different theme & stations. I got "folding paper into cups & bunnies" while Matt was SUPER LUCKY and got to help them fold 6 different types of paper in half and in half again and again until they couldn't fold it anymore. LOL!!! I made over 70 cups & 70 bunnies during the day, but it was so worth it! It was fun to watch these little brains be amazed that a square piece of paper could be a cup or even a bunny! BTW, I NEVER want to see another paper bunny in my life! J/K

On the baby front...Kamrynn is oh so active! Wow, Mady wasn't ever this wiggly. I love it & yet, I would love a good night's sleep sometime, LOL. I guess that's what naps are for, too bad I have a 3 and a half year old too! Ashley & Mady are waiting intently for their baby sister.

We go for a 4-D ultrasound this Friday & I can't wait! Matt & I will be in one room with the ultrasound tech, while the girls, Angie, my lil sis Becca, my lil bro Robby & his gf are all going to get to see it on a 50" tv as it happens, is that not cool? We get to see her face, her tiny little body, and get a real sense of who she is! BTW, we found out there may be a chance she is a "he." So, if that happens, we're all in for a surprise. I'll post the pics this weekend of course.

Since we're making some changes around the house to accomodate our little one, we're pretty busy. Nothing major of course, but still necessary. We downsized the living rm (entertainment cntr & desk) which is something I've wanted to do for a WHILE! Plus, we had to make room for MAtt's valentine's day present...a 42" LCD! We rearranged our bedroom for her crib which is a cute sleigh style 4-in one combo that will grow with her (thanks Dad). Kam will stay in our room for a while (prob about 6 mos), then she'll move into the girls' room.

We gave Ashley the choice of her own room, but she said she wanted to keep the playroom. She just asked if she could have the "top bed" & if we could repaint their bedroom with a Disney Princess theme. Mady wants Little Mermaid, Ashley wants "all the other princesses." I guess that's not too much to ask. We even found "baby princesses" for Kamrynn when she moves in!

I'll be sad to see the monkeys & giraffes go this summer...all that hard work, but it shows me how they're growing up & making their own choices. Plus, they'll love helping us paint and decorate! I LOVE IT! We'll just have to make sure we have pictures to put in their albums before we start.

Ashley & Mady both know they'll have their own rooms in the next two years when we build our new home, so its not a big deal. They've already picked out which one will be theirs & everything! The they love to stare at the house plan & say "that's my room" "that's your room" "that's baby Kamrynn's room" and "that's going to be where we play!

I think we're slowly getting to a point of calmness around here. Just in time for a tiny one to throw that all out the window, right? LOL

So, I'll catch ya later everyone...same bat time, same bat channel!

LEPRECHAUNS!

YAY! The Leprechaun trap is finished & works great! I wonder if they'll catch one today, LOL. The pics are up & you have to check them out. We had a BLAST making it. We all helped, including Matt's parents & brother, so it truly was a family project. Matt & Monster took it in yesterday morning & she wouldn't let any of her friends near it. She'd say "ok guys, you can look but I have to show you how it works!"

Matt & his dad rigged it like the game mousetrap!!! There's a wire attatched to a gold weight. When the Leprechaun pulls the gold, it trips a wire that pulls out a stopper. The stopper releases the marble which goes down through a hose & through a rainbow PVC pipe. It snaps a mousetrap (safeguarded with catch hooks so tiny fingers don't get caught in it) which pulls a stick & catches the leprechaun in a box!

OMGosh, it was HILLARIOUS to watch them try to get it to work. I helped them figure out a few "logistical problems" but mostly, I worked on the creative design part.  Monster used power tools, helped spray paint, wrote the words, and did a LOT of work herself! Even Mady helped by putting Shamrock stickers ALL over it.

While the "boys" & Ash were doing the mechanics, I showed Angie (Matt's Mom) how to play Wii Sports. I thought I was going to have to pry her away! I think the Wii is really going to be a fun family activity. We even had Larry (Matt's Dad) playing before the end of the day!!!

I am so thankful for our family. I wouldn't trade them for the world!

BTW...the girls' baseball Opening Day will be March 28 at Pleasant Garden Community Center! Let me know if ya wanna come out & watch...I'll send you the times!

Sad for you.

It's so sad to see that "HRC" has to try to tear me down to make herself feel better. Really. Thanks to my special friend for keeping me in the loop. Did you guys know that I am fat & ugly? WOW, thanks for letting me know. I am pregnant, what's your excuse? As to the ugly, well, God made me in his image, so what are you trying to say? My daughters & husband tell me every day how beautiful I am. I trust their judgement much more than yours.

Well, anyway...now that its out of my system, let's take it out of my hands...

Dear Lord, please help her to find the inner peace that only you offer. Open her eyes to see your blessings as you designed them, not just as she desires them to be. Bless her family, her home, and all that she encounters. Help her in her daily walk with you to grow and get past the hurt and anger that is tearing apart her soul.

Help me to see past all the wrongs and accept your will. I know that you have our lives in your hands at all times. Help me to let go of the little things as I see the whole picture you've painted before me. Thank you for reminding me daily of our gifts you have given. These things I ask of you in your son's name. Amen

Freedom!

I've been doing this for 5 years & I JUST YESTERDAY finally removed her completely. When Matt & I first got together, he was only 21 & Monster was only 6 mos. old. HRC had never let him be a parent (except when SHE wanted to do something), so he had no clue what he was doing. She also THOUGHT she had his (excuse the expression) "balls in a sling." She would hold Monster over his head EVERY time he breathed wrong.

Anyone who knows my background with kids knows that I just naturally fell into the role of "mom." I couldn't ever dream of doing to him what she was, so I made SURE that he saw his daughter when he was supposed to & as soon as we had enough amo, went to court & won!

I have been SO emotionally & physically invested, but have realized that he is now 27, we have a 3 1/2 yr old child together & one on the way, and he is a police officer. If he doesn't know how to be a parent & deal with her crazyiness by now, we're in trouble, LOL.

So, he & I talked about our situation. He's always done most of the "work" with her, but I've made sure to block her (and all the other crazies on her end) emails completely. We decided that I only need to check the Yahoo! group messages if he is unavailable & something is time sensitive. She lives 3 hours away & it isn't like we'll run into each other every day or anything like that, so I hope I've pretty much removed her from my "inner sanctum" & can deal with her through Matt from now on. The only thing he & I have to talk about concerning her is Monster & that will be limited because our order is crystal clear!

Monster is seeing her counselor today (THANK GOD for that woman). I really think she would be an emotional wreck without her. We'll be setting up an appointment for just us to talk about how to make the best of the situation we now have, as bad as it may seem I know there HAS to be a way to make it work.

On another note, it was so great to have Monster LITERALLY run into my arms when we picked her up yesterday & hug me so tight! She almost knocked me over. Its THOSE moments that make it all worthwhile. All the other craziness melts away & I remember I don't care how crazy her mother gets, what stunts she tries to pull, or even about the empty threats she makes. This is all what we make it & I plan on having a GREAT life! Anyone want to join me? LOL

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

Observations & Changes

So, as you can tell, I have fixed my page now. Not sure what the issue with the blogs & comments, but its all gravy now, LOL.

OMGosh! Matt & I are SO sick & tired of "Her Royal Craziness." He's been doing a great job of keeping me out of it (THANKS BABY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH). But lately, the site they use to communicate has been crashing & Matt's been using my AOL account for email purposes. Yes, Matt has email addys but he blocked both her & her husband a while back (and he only checks his email when I remind him, LOL). Well, anyway, every time I signed on AOL, I was bombarded with her emails & had to save them for when he was available to read & respond to them. Sometimes, he would even hit "send later" so that she wouldn't get them until he was at work & he wouldn't have to repsond! EVIL LITTLE MONKEY, LOL!!!

Ok, so ummm...NO. I want to make sure Matt receives the info he needs, but I am not going to deal with her bull anymore. So, to take care of that issue, I have blocked her email, her husband's, and even her mom's (just for safe measure). Isn't AOL wonderful to have such customizable SPAM filters so that I don't even have to know anything was sent! It just deletes it befoe it hits my inbox!!!

Matt wrote them both an email & told them they could use the custody planner site (when it isn't having issues) or the Yahoo! Group we set up to communicate anything Ashley related. Can we say YAY ME for totally removing her from my personal life! (well, I am sure she is still checking me here, but that's fine) She wants ME to be uninvolved, but is now forwarding ALL her emails to her husband to "edit" before she reads them! CRACK ME UP! How precious is that, she can't even handle what she dishes out.

But anyway, after the most recent dramafest, Matt's decided to give her what she wants...the ability to focus on her other child & only worry about Monster 4 days a month. She seriously told him that HE has to deal with any issues that Ashley has from now on, so he's going to. Of course, he'll continue to put Monster's activities & their dates/times/locations on the shared calendar because he's required to. All the extra stuff that we try to include her on is out the window. When Monster lost her tooth & we called her to let Monster tell her.  Right thing to do?  We thought so.  Instead she said we were rubbing it in her face.  Mosnter said "she wasn't even excited a little bit." HOW SAD IS THAT?

Well, all of this weekend's lovlineness stems from her freaking out & starting a downward spiral (again). This time, about GS COOKIE MONEY & RAFFLE TICKETS! Seriously? OMGosh! Great job on picking something to make a big deal. She was supposed to bring them Friday & left them at her house 3 hours away. The cookie money is taken care of at this point, but we have to sell ALL 10 raffle tickets by next Saturday and she's had them for three weeks. (LET ME KNOW IF YOU'D LIKE TO HELP HER TEAM OUT)

 She hasn't sold even ONE but Matt is supposed to say "that's ok" and sell them IF she even overnights them like she said she would! (btw, what kind of parent or grandparent can't even buy ONE raffle ticket or ONE chocolate bar for a fundraiser, WOW!!!) So, now she is making it a point that she will not do fundraising anymore. CONGRATULATIONS ON TAKING ANOTHER STEP BACK FROM BEING AN ACTIVE PARENT! QUIT CRYING ABOUT NOT BEING INVOLVED WHEN YOU ARE CHOOSING TO DISENGAGE!

She also thinks that she can dictate to Matt that he can't come to Monster's activities on "her time." Um, I don't remember that being in the order. If it were, she wouldn't be allowed to go on field trips, go to her dance recital, et cetera because they are all during "his time." Right now, she's saying that Monster won't attend activities on "her time" if Matt is there. Which, of course, we can't do anything about, but oh well.

It's really so sad that she still thinks Monster is a toy that she can take away when Matt "misbehaves." But guess what! Ashley is a person & she can't hold that over his head anymore. The Judge made sure that wouldn't happen again. I am so glad that its all over, but at the same time it never will be. At least not until she can let it all go & make the choices that are best for Monster.

I just don't see how keeping Monster from activities on her time could affect us. We've already paid for them, we don't get penalized, and it also saves us having to deal with her & having to pretend to get along in front of  Monster. So, the only one that is getting hurt is  Monster. Ya know, I can't wait until Monster is old enough to really understand what is going on. She'll be able to read ALL the emails, court docs, and everything else. It will all be so much clearer to her who had her best interest in mind & who was being vindictive.

Yes, I know you're reading this & no, I don't really care, obviously. Yes, we should all get along for Monster's sake, but I am done being fake in front of her. Yes, I will be cordial when necessary, but I will no longer engage in meaningless conversations that get us nowhere. I am a very happy person & I refuse to let you change that. So, when you are at an activity/event with us, please find your own space away from us, ESPECIALLY my children. I WILL NOT let your negativity affect them. It already affects  Monster  enough. As always, she can come to you on our time to say hello & goodbye or take any pictures. The same respect on your part would be wonderful. If not, well, she'll understand soon enough.

THANKS EVERYONE!!!

Updates & more...

Hey everyone! Life's been SO busy lately, but its all worth it! School was cancelled Mon & Tues because of the weather & we've been playing in the snow enjoying the last few days of  Monster 's "Spring Break" (they have to make up the 4 snow days).

Matt & I have been spending more time with each other, focusing on US and forgetting about the stressors that life's thrown at us for a while. I am happy to say that we are looking forward to this summer when we'll celebrate our 4 year wedding anniversary! It's hard to believe we'll have been together 6 years this November!!! He's still working nights patrolling the streets of Ramseur. I am working my Mary Kay business & substitute teaching @ Grays Chapel.

Monster's doing great in school. She had some trouble understanding rhyming words (very funny stories to go with that), but now that it's clicked she's off & running again. There have been a few discipline issues her counselor feels is stemming from wanting some extra attention the last few weeks (not from us), but that's all under control too! THANK YOU to everyone that purchased Girl Scout Cookies. She has sold OVER 300 BOXES & can't wait to get her build-a-bear gift certificate & all her other prizes! She is loving Daisies & all that she is learning (me too!).

Her dance class is now getting boring for her, so I don't think we'll do it again next year. She is excited about doing a tap song to "Walk the Dinosaur" and LOVES her ballet costume though, so its ok. Her progress in AWANA & her ability to memorize her verses astounds me! When her friend's father passed away recently, Ashley prayed for her & her family at church in front of the AWANA group & I almost cried. She is growing up so quickly & I am proud to see her journey with Christ everyday. She'll have her first t-ball practice this Saturday & we are so excited!

Monkey...WOW, where to begin! She's definitely not Ashley, LOL. They love to be together, but have such different personalities. I love to see them play, it makes all the drama worth enduring. She is having a great time in Cubbies, learning a little more about how a tiny Christian can help friends, family, and others. She has "watered down" verses to memorize, but enjoys learning them. In fact, she will remind me that she has to learn it (especially if  Monster  is working on hers).

She is still super excited about dance & even has the dances memorized WITHOUT THE MUSIC! She'll do them at home & sing the songs herself & I can't wait for the recital on June 6. She'll either do it in front of everyone or just stand there...hmmm, we'll see. She had her first tball practice last Saturday. Well, technincally it became a parent meeting because of the rain, but she THINKS it was practice, LOL. Her first real one will be this week. It is the cutest thing to see her in her helmet & tiny bat. She's still only 36" tall & wears 2-3T clothes. We bought XXS pants & I still had to hem them!

Kamrynn is growing everyday, of course. The girls love to sit & feel her kick at night. We even have one of those dopplers w/headphones so we can hear her kick. The best is recording it at night (when she's most active) & playing it for the girls in the moring on our surround sound. It sounds like we're in there with her!!! Ashley's favorite is the most recent "hiccup episode." Madyson asks our Midwife at every visit if we can take the baby home yet. We are so blessed that our girls are excited & not dreading our newest family member! (check out the COMING SOON blog for more Kamrynn info & due date tickers)

Also, court was "over" November 2007, but then she appealed. That was denied in October this past year, but we had to wait for our evidence to be released. We FINALLY got it all back today (which included our family album). So, we're spending Thursday evening (our only free evening that Matt is off) going through it & adding pics to it from Oct 2007 through now! I also finished the baby book for Miss Kamrynn & we'll be adding the ultrasound pics, as well those from the Birth Center visits & the girls making their shirts! Ash & Mady can't wait!

WOO HOO SCRAPBOOKING SECTION HERE I COME!!!

I hope everyone has a great week & don't forget to set your clocks ahead before you go to sleep Saturday!!!