First off, a disclaimer...This is directed toward one person. Everyone else, feel free to read and comment all you want. I won't mind. If I didn't want people to read my feelings, I wouldn't post them. THANKS!
Ok, I'm done trying to be nice. It's time to be honest. I don't like you, never have, probably never will. I have tried to put on a friendly face, only to have it slapped repeatedly by your underhand and deceit. You can lie about me to whomever you wish, but those are transgressions you will have to face up to at some point in your own life or thereafter. You can take this however you want, but don't take it out on hubby or Monster by throwing her life into turmoil again. She is doing well and we will fight tooth & nail if necessary to keep it that way.
It's also great that "most of the time" you have Monster's best interest in mind, but we as parents ALWAYS put them first.
I have never been two-faced. I have never told you we were friends. I have said that we were trying to get along for Monster's well-being. I have never put on a facade for you or anyone else's benefit. At our custody meeting I was civil, made small talk, and gave you ample time to discuss issues.
I will say this again, hubby, the girls, and I are a FAMILY. We make decisions that will affect our FAMILY as a TEAM. Yes, we are capable of making decisions independent of one another, but we CHOOSE to confront life TOGETHER. If that makes you feel you play a second-stage part in Monster's life, that is your problem.
People can only make you feel what you want. If you are doing everything you can to be the best possible mom for Monster, then you should have no problem with the bond that she and I share or the fact that I am involved in her upbringing as closely as I always have been. Maybe if you have another child with someone else, you will understand the effects it has on a mixed family.
Also, you can tell her that I am not her mommy and that you "carried her in your belly" all you want. That doesn't change how she feels towards me, or vice versa. Yes, you are her BIOLOGICAL mother, but I am just as much her mommy as you are. Frankly, I am tired of hearing your "BM Pity Party". The world (not even Monster's) does not revolve around you. You are only one piece of the giant puzzle that is Monster.
I have tried SO hard to make everything work. Regardless of what you think, I have never tried to replace you. Get over yourself.
Right now you only have yourself and Monster to be concerned about. SF can be as involved as you let him. But just know, that if you have children together, you'll have to deal with a whole new set of guidelines, believe me or not, you'll see.
Next, I want to address the distance/phone issue. Yes, phones work both ways. But you can't have it both ways. If you want me to stay out of your business with Monster, then it is not my place to make sure that she calls you. You as her mother need to make the effort to be in her life as much as you want to be. YOU need to call her and be involved. I am only supposed to make sure that she is able to take your call or return one when it is missed. The only guidelines we have ever given is that the call needs to be placed between 4:30 and 7:00 pm in order in ensure that she is available and not in the bath or bed & that it is not EVERY night. We give you your space and time with her and we would appreciate the same courtesy.
I truly am sorry if you feel like the parent on the outside, though. It was never our intention to push you out of her life. I have ALWAYS made every effort to give you all the time with Monster that was available (minus the tumultuous time in recent history). Monster does not feel this as a point of doom. She is COMPLETELY happy with us @ home and her friends at school. Yes, she could probably be doing better if she heard from you every once in a while, but that is up to you.
We have never told you that you have to be a certain way to be around her. We have never made her choose sides and never will. YOU are the one making a big deal about who is Mommy. Hubby never once gave you hell over teaching her to call your ex "dada". He helped raise her for 2 years and Hubby understood that.
As for me, you are stuck. I am not going anywhere and my position will not change. Due to time constraints regarding both your and Hubby's schedules, I will have to continue to pick-up/drop-off Monster as necessary. Despite what you think, my goal in life isn't ruining yours and I wouldn't want to put your job in jeopardy. I have better things to do.
I agree, it is time to let the past go. That means YOU have to get over it too!
BTW, Hubby has already read this, so do not think you can play him either. He nor I no longer speak to you alone anyway, and if it does happen, it is being recorded. Keep that in mind.
I will continue to be civil to you regarding Monster, as well, hubby & I will keep you updated on her progress.
You can choose to delete me from your friends so that you may talk about me behind my back on your private profile, but I won't make my profile private. I want you to see what is going on in Monster's life and I won't be that petty. I have nothing to hide from you or anyone else. If I did, I wouldn't post it on MySpace.
Have a GREAT day!
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