Holiday Fun

We FINALLY took our Holiday pics yesterday. For once, they turned out GREAT!!! Monster & Monkey BOTH smiled!!! We took about 17 poses and bought 12 of them. I think 5 "not so great" pics are great for having 5 people in them. I can't wait to get them posted for you all to see!!!

We are doing Christmas on the evening of the 26th this year so our whole family can be here. If you aren't busy, stop by for some extra Christmas cheer!!! Monster will spend some time with the other part of her family until the 25th & then we'll take her to Gpa for some time with him. She is sooo excited!!!

Monskey is spending Christmas night with Granny/PawPaw so that I can get up at dawn on the 26th and SHOP SHOP SHOP!!! After Christmas, the girls & I will be travelling to WV to my grandparents for MORE family fun, LOL.

To My Stalker & her friends

I knew that would get your attention.

I LOVE MY LIFE!!! It is so nice to be thought of by so many people everyday!!! My family, friends, church family, MK Sisters, and so many people know the real me. All of you (you know who you are) who have never taken the chance to know me have no right to judge me. You wish you could know me because then you could hate me. At the same time you are afraid to know me for fear that I am not the monster you have made me out to be. I am written about, talked about, and lied about. Jealousy is such an interesting feeling. At least I am forthcoming with my feelings. I don't have to hide, my blog is available for you and your friends to view.I welcome your comments.

BM, I am sorry that you hate me or resent my place in Monster's life or whatever the issue is. We used to be able to talk about her and so many other things. When exactly did you start hating me? There have been times where we haven't seen eye to eye, but what two people do all the time? You know there have times that I have been here when YOU needed me, not even concerning Monster. Or have you forgotten?

I want you to know I don't hate you. I feel for you. I can't imagine living life without Monster or Monkey daily. We never wanted it to have to come down to this, but it has. We have tried to meet with you to offer more time and a more flexible schedule while she is not in school, but you refused.

We all have our own strengths and weaknesses. You have your talents, hubby has his. SF & I have ours. Wouldn't it benefit Monster to be able to draw from all of those areas? Why should everything be a battle? You won't meet with us to get on the same page to be able to parent together, ask your opinion or involve you in choices, yet you criticize the ones we make. You say call to talk, yet when Hubby calls, you are on the defensive. Would you rather try to hate us from a distance & be "safe" than trust us? Or is it that you feel better hating us because you think we took her away?

Hubby may have been awarded primary physical custody but that doesn't have to affect your relationship with Monster unless you let it. I recognize you as Monster's mother, does that help? I can't tell you any other way. I want you to be in her life, but you are making that hard on yourself.

Hubby can only take so much from both of us. I am his wife and he will support me and my decisions regarding our home, children, and our lives together. That also means that he will include me in his decision making process, as I am sure you will do the same with your husband. You are Monster's mother and we will respect your views and opinions on choices regarding her. We will keep you informed, you will have to keep yourself involved. We only ask that you respect us and stop trying to make our lives as difficult as possible, you are only hurting Monster. She is happy, healthy, and loved by so many people, is that really so bad?

As far as the exchange place goes, we will document what is necessary in order to save Monster any unnecessary travel. By making that choice, you lost an hour with her. Was it worth it? All you need to do is call. Yes, sometimes we may have plans that we are not going to change. How will you know if you don't try? We do ask that you respect our time and give us as much notice as possible when you are able to be in town. Who knows, we might even offer to let you keep her an extra day. Hubby usually works the Sunday night we pick her up, wouldn't you rather have that time with your daughter? I know that's a hard concept to grasp given the circumstances, but we've done it before. That is what co-parenting is all about; being willing to make the best decisions for Monster, not ourselves.

That goes for all aspects of the order and Monster's life. We are not hiding anything from you and do not anticipate doing so. We expect the same respect from you. We are hoping that you can give us complete openness and honesty. I hope that one day you will have respect enough to speak with me honestly about your feelings, and stop accusing me of trying to replace you. You don't have to compete with me. I have my own special place in Monster's heart, as do all her parents.

My "Place"

I know where I stand in my relationships, but other people feel I don't. I want to put this out there to make sure I can not be unjustly accused one more day of trying to pose as or replace "HER".

For those of you who may not know (if any), I am not Monster's biological mother. No, I didn't conceive her, carry her for 9 months, or give birth to her. I have only been in her life since she was 6 months old, or the last 4 years & 1 month.

I don't believe giving birth to a child is the only way to be a MOMMY. If that were the case, there would be millions of motherless adoptees. No one ever says that those women are not "mommies" or that the children they raise have no right to love and respect them in that role.
Step-mothers have the task of raising a child that is not theirs, but feels very much as their own without the bio-mother feeling replaced. How am I supposed to love a child like my own, but treat her differently or call her "step-child" with a clear conscience? Am I supposed to care for her daily needs, help support her financially, answer questions about life, kiss booboos, discipline her, and love her as I do Madyson but at a distance?

It is apparently OK with the bio-mom that Monster has two Daddies (she has only know the stepdad for a year & he's been "daddy" for 10 months), but it is out of the question for her to have two Mommies. Is that really fair? Is he going to treat Monster differently than their child? Is he supposed to love his child more than her? Is he committing the same wrongs when he calls Monster his daughter?

I don't know how else to say that I am not trying to replace HER in Monster's life. The truth of the matter is, the more Monster's mind is poisoned against people in her life, the more confusing her life will be. I am SICK AND TIRED of fighting to prove my role in her life. I know where I stand. If she has a problem with it, that is all it will be; HER PROBLEM. Are all these issues stemming from MY role as Monster's step-mom/other mommy or her own insecurites as a mom? Only she and God know. Can I really replace her in Ashley's life if she is being the mom that Ashley deserves? I don't think so. Is it my doing if Ashley feels loved as much as Madyson? DARN STRAIGHT IT IS!!! She has never and will never feel like the "step-child" in our home, no matter what the circumstances.

I think that deep down she wishes I would treat Monster differently so that she could call me an evil person. Right now, all she has to go on is that I don't like her or what she has done to Monster. That must make me an evil person right? I don't like my husbands ex-wife. MY, WHAT A MONSTER I AM!!! I don't like someone who has put my relationship with my husband through so much stress the last four years because of the constant turmoil in Monster's life? I MUST BE STRAIGHT FROM HELL!!! I can't stand to speak to someone who's lied to me, my husband, social services, police, and the NC Court Sytem? WHAT AM I THINKING?!!

As I have stated before, the judge saw through facade and double standards to award Hubby primary custody. He did this for many reasons. If you would like a list, email me.
I love Monster as my daughter now and always. We will continue to love her, care for her, and make her life the best we are capable. Please pray for her and keep her in your thoughts as we live daily as happily as any other family could.If anyone would like to lodge a complaint with me, you know where to reach me. I am not the kind of person who has to hide or cower in the face of criticism.

On another note, Hubby, I love you more than you'll ever know. We have come through so much and I can't wait for the road we will travel in life. Monster, you were our first child and you will always be special. I will always be here when you need me. Monkey, my baby girl, you will always have my heart & your big sister's helping hands

Wasting Time

Hope begins in the dark, hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work; you don't give up. Anne Lamott

We are trying so hard to do the best for Monster. However, it is so hard to keep hoping that BM will make the right decisions. For example, today when we picked up Moster, we asked how her weekend went. She said she had fun with BM & SF at bm's mother's house. Matt told her that must have been fun. She then asked why she had to ride with SF but BM got to stay at gma's house. Yes, SF dropped off Monster & no BM to be seen. Mind you, this concerned us because we picked up Monster at the exchange point which is 1/2 way between bio-mother's home and our own, 1 hour each way...but gma lives 10 minutes from us. Which means Monster was in a car for 2 hours for NO good reason other than to waste our time and gas!

When Hubby called to ask bio-mother about it, she couldn't give a reason that would justify the time, other than her lawyer advised her "not to sway from the order". When in actuality, she violated the order. It states that "both parties shall be mindful and considerate of the other's time..." AND it even cost her an hour of time with Monster (because she didn't even make the trip...she sent SF).

If I only had 48 hours with my child every 2 weeks, I would spend every minute possible with her. Maybe she will realize that by trying to waste our time & energy, she is costing herself more. If not, I am sorry, but we will not shed a tear for her. Is proving that she is not going to budge really worth hurting our daughter? Its pretty sad to think that she would rather try to hurt us than spend the time with Monster. Her inflexibility will cost her more in the long run than she realizes. For now, we will enjoy Monster & make the best of our time in the car, even when it isn't necessary...singing, joking, and being a family!

Life isn't all sunshine and daisies. We have to put our children first, even when we don't get our way. Hugs and Kisses to ALL!!!

Our Family History - Chapter 1

Hubby & I met in HS & had a few classes together, but I dated the same guy through HS & Hubby wasn't really in my "circle." In Fall of 2003, Hubby was separating from Monster's bio-mother. On a twist of fate, Hubby & I ran into each other at a football game (his mom had forced him to go to) about 2 weeks before our mutual friend JR was going to be moving in with him. Being that JR and I spent a lot of time together, I figured I might as well get to know Hubby again.

Hubby & I went to IHOP after the game & played "catch up." We talked about our lives since HS & his then 6 month old daughter Monster. Well, like I said before, JR and I were close which meant seeing a lot of Hubby too. One night after a movie & some XBOX @ JR's parents home, Hubby kissed me. It was definitely not something I was expecting, but that's where it all began.

Fast forward one year, and we find out we are expecting Monkey! Yet again, not expected, but wonderful none the less. Hubby & I had planned on being married and starting our family soon, but maybe not quite this soon. He wanted to have a more stable income & be a man his children could look up to, so he decided to begin Basic Law Enforcement Training and enter the police force.

While all this was going on, his mom found out she had Cirhossis and had to undergo some testing and hospital stays. We moved from our home into theirs for a few months to help care for his younger brother S who was in Elementary school at the time. It was definitely an interesting experience. I was pregnant, he was in BLET, we were going through some custody changes with Monster, and so much more! I am surprised my head didn't explode!!!

OK, all you guys out there, you may want to skip these next few parts!!! Hubby and I planned to be married a few weeks before Monkey was due. We got our marriage license and everything was good to go. He and I went to Red Lobster that night to celebrate! Well, Hubby had a job interview that morning & my dad called me and asked if I could work at our care home because someone didn't show up! Since we only had one car at the time, we went to the interview, ran by wal-mart, and went to the care home.

I had felt cramps all morning, but thought it was just something I had eaten the night before or really bad gas (sorry for the TMI). Around 2, my sister showed up to relieve me at the care home & we went home. We finally called the birth center (we wanted to have a natural water birth) & they gave us all kinds of instuctions on how to stop the "Braxton Hicks" contractions I was supposedly having...think again!!! At 4 pm, Hubby & I met his parents at the courthouse. We got married in about 10 minutes (between what I later found out were contractions!) & went home.

At 6:00 I finally called the Birth center back and asked if I could have some tylenol or something & they had us come in just to be on the safe side. On the way to the birth center, I started having what i called REAL pain. When we got there, I was 10 cm and at a +2 station (for those who don't know, the head was almost showing!) Well, 10 minutes later, Monkey graced us with her presence! I will definitely never forget that day!

Hubby got his first position as a police officer in Nov 2005. His Chief and all the other officers were wonderful! That PD family was wonderful to have, but it was too far of a drive and he wasn't making near what he was worth. When he was offered a position, closer to home making 8k more plus raises in 6 months...he jumped on it! He should've started in February, but his body decided it didn't need his Gallbladder anymore so, after surgery and 2 weeks of resting, he started in March 2007.

Backtrack a little, in fall 2006, we began having BIG issues with Monster's bio-mother. Matt filed for custody in October because of some major concerns. Then, all of a sudden she starts dating this guy & decided to move 2 hours away (within 2 months). We knew that Monster didn't need to travel all that way twice a week. After mediation, Hubby & BM agreed that Monster would be with us during the week and every other weekend. That worked for about 4 months.

Then, out of the blue BM decided it wasn't going to work for her. Knowing there was nothing else we could do, we returned to the original order. Our attorney set a court date and we started preparing for the battle ahead. After many re-scheduled dates, 2 unsubstantiated sexual abuse reports (filed by the bio-mother), and DRAMA, we finally got in front of a judge. Then, after 3 days of testimony and some more time in agony waiting for a decision, Hubby was awarded Primary Physical Custody. The judge listed many reasons for his decision, most of which were based on the BM's instability. We were in shock that it was all finally over!!! Now we are able to give her the life she deserves!

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Icicle lights are up (even though they don't match). Thanks Hubby!! My OCD nature will have to look past them for a few more weeks), Monster & Monkey have visited Santa, and we have presents wrapped and under the decorated tree. YAY, soon S he will be here. Saturday, Monkey will be attending our church's Birthday Party for Jesus! Monster will be at her other home for the weekend, so we'll make sure to save her some cake and a craft!

We have soo much planned for the Christmas/New Year Season!!! We may have to do Christmas a little bit late this year so that our entire family can be with us, but that's just fine! It isn't the date that matters, it is the time we spend together!!! (and this way I can hit all the after-Christmas sales...WOOHOO!)

After Christmas here, the girls & I are going to WV to visit my grandparents and my Great-grandmother. I want the girls to spend as much time with her as they can! They can't wait to see them again!

I hope your Holidays are as happy as mine will be! Love & Hugs to all!

Thank You God!

I just want to take this time to thank God for everything He has given me. We may not always think God is listening because He doesn't answer our prayers on our time schedule or the way we think He should, but He always is. I know now that He has laid out my life according to His will and not mine. No matter how hard I try, I just can't convince Him that I know what I need better than He does and that is just fine. I am amazed at how much God loves us no matter what we say and do. Right now I am trying so hard to live by His word. We are tested daily. I am focusing on Luke 6:27-36 in my life right now. In order to be a better wife & mother to my family, I have to magnify God's love and minimize my contempt, as hard as that may be. For all those who've wronged me, you are forgiven. My life is God's to do with it what He will. I have no room in my heart for hatred because it is full of love and understanding. I promise God, myself, and my family to forgive and let live.

SMILE GOD LOVES YOU!!

HOLIDAY LETTER 2007

Current mood:happy

Happy Holidays! I have wanted to send out a family Holiday letter for the last few years and life just seems to get in the way. This year, I am making time to at least blog about it! We have had a busy year! Hubby and I celebrated our 2nd Anniversary, Monster turned 4, Monkey turned 2…and so much more. I'll try to hit the highlights.

Hubby had gallbladder surgery in February and then transferred from one PD to another in March. This move has given him more time at home and a pay raise. His new shift is 7pm-7am and he either works Mon/T & Fr/Sat/Sun or Wed/Thur each week. We love when he has a Wed/Thur work week. We are able to plan so many wonderful family activities!

For those who haven't heard yet, I am a Senior Independent Beauty Consultant with Mary Kay Cosmetics. I fell in love with the product and the opportunity. It gives me the freedom and flexibility to not only make my own schedule and write my own paycheck, but to stay home and be a mom to our girls full time! If I haven't given you a complimentary facial yet, I'm coming!

We were in and out of court all year for our custody case for Monster. We finally got in front of a Judge in October. After three days of testifying & weeks of waiting for a decision, Hubby was granted custody. We are so thankful that God heard our prayers and placed Monster where he felt she will grow and learn best. We will have Monster during the week and every other weekend, as well as every other Thanksgiving, Spring Break, Christmas, and most of the summer. We hope that her biological mother is able to be as involved in Monster's life as possible. Please pray that God will open her heart to communicating with us so that we can develop a healthy parenting relationship for her.

Monster and Monkey are growing so much and learning everyday! I won't try to list everything, but here are a few big things. Monster can write her first and last name, TIE HER SHOES (YAY), count to 30, and her ABCs. Monkey is right beside her learning whatever she can, she is a little sponge. She can spell her first name, recognize 20 letters, knows 6 shapes and 4 colors. We are so proud of our girls!!!

Monster is still our little Drama Queen. Every little scrape sends her to her deathbed. She is so emotional and loves to be the center of attention. I can't wait to get her into some community theater! She enjoys playing with Disney Princess, dress up, baby dolls, and her books. She is looking forward to playing t-ball in the spring. She'll start KINDERGARTEN in August. I can't believe it!!!

Monkey is our little spitfire. She definitely has her mommy's determination and he daddy's stubbornness. Sometimes that can be challenging for us. She is definitely more of a physical than emotional kind of girl. She loves cars, books, cooking, and playing outside. We have to give her some time to climb and run outside everyday or she climbs our walls!

As a family, we have visited so many places this year and experienced new things. We love living so close to the zoo. We like to go for a morning visit and the girls are learning so much. They are both really into animals and nature. We also love the many museums our area has to offer. We can't wait to explore our surrounding states between now and August! We have a lot of exploring to do!We are so blessed to have such a wonderful life. We wish all of you a wonderful holiday season and a Happy New Year! Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers as we navigate through life.

Brought to you by the letter O

OVERVIEW- July and August were rough, but wonderful nonetheless. Monkey turned 2 and we celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary!!! Our court date was postponed (twice), so Monster's still in limbo. DSS cleared Matt and unsubstantiated BM's claims against him. We never had any worries, it was just another way for her to stall the preceedings. We've also found a great counselor for Monster to talk with so that she can get her little mind straight.

I went to Dallas for nearly a week for the MK Seminar and IT WAS AWESOME!!! August has been quiet (except for some minor drama at the beginning) so YAY for that!

ORDER- I am restoring some to my life regardless of what others do. My family life will no longer be disrupted by another's choices. We will plan and live according to God's plan for us no matter who tries to throw a monkey wrench in the works.

OPEN- My MK business is open and growing. After seminar, I realized I haven't dedicated as much time to my biz as I should have and that is going to change! So, if you haven't had a facial yet, GET READY! My goal is 30 faces in 30 days and I will need your help!!!

OCTOPUS- yes, octopus...I feel like I am one sometimes. I have so many irons in the fire and each one is just as hot as the first.

OBSTACLES- Many have been placed in our life, but we are getting through and over them as they come; some with a little more difficulty than others, but none will overcome us.

OCTOBER- Hubby's bday. Beach trip later that month with the family. Court, once again, has been rescheduled & we will be in court Oct 23-25 (barring a meteor shower LOL)

OPEN BOOK- My life is one. If you are reading this, know that. I have nothing to hide. If I did, I wouldn't post it on a public blog! I can be held accountable for my actions and this makes it easy for me. I hope you have enjoyed today's blog! Have a GREAT day!

The letter of the day is "H"

H is for...HAPPY! We are so blessed to have TWO wonderful little girls. Monster has been through a lot, but hopefully we can get it straightened out VERY SOON! She loves helping her little sister learn how to "be big" and encourages her so much. Monkey will be TWO soon. I know, I can't believe it either!!! She is so energetic and loves to laugh. We are working on "the potty" and what DOES go in it and also what DOES NOT. We are having a little trouble on the latter because she is very curious and LOVES to "Fwush".

H is for...HOPPING! My MaryKay business is going superbly. I hope to be in my Red Jacket by the end of the month. I love having a network of wonderful Christian women to help me help myself to get where I am going in life.

H is for...HEART. I am also proud to say that Hubby and I will be celebrating our TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY soon. Hubby, I love you and we will get through everything that has been a challenge in our life together and those to come. Sometimes I need to lean on you and others you'll have to lean on me. Sometimes, when we least expect, we'll have to lean against each other just to stand, but we will overcome anything life (or Satan) wants to throw at us and come out smiling with new knowledge gained and our relationship stronger.

H is for...HONESTY. This is for everyone in my life. Please give me the respect I give you by being honest with me. I know that the truth sometimes hurts, but lies hurt more. By lying, you leave a door open for the truth to be found out by someone else. If a lie is found out, it usually hurts twice as bad because you get the hurt of the original deed being covered up as well as the hurt of being lied to. Wouldn't it just be easier if everyone could grow up and be honest? Thank You to everyone that has been here for us through trying times. We have appreciated the moral support from our friends and family, it helps more than you realize. I love having a support sytem as greatly structured and strengthened as we have seen come together these past months.

P.S. next court date is July 10th, keep Monster in your thoughts and prayers. May nothing evil cross this door

And may ill fortune never pry
About these windows, may the roar
And rains go by...Strengthened by faith, the rafters will
Withstand the battering of the storm,
This hearth, though all the world grow chill,
Will keep you warm.Laughter shall drown the raucous shout.
And, through the sheltering walls are thin,
May they be strong to keep hate out
And hold love in.--Louis Untermeyer

MAY 07 UPDATE

Ok, haven't posted a blog in a little while, so here's an update.

Hubby is getting into the groove of his nightshift job. We are still working out the kinks of spending time "alone" while still giving the girls the time they deserve but we're getting there.

Monster just turned 4 and we had a "Little Mermaid" party...and even though we asked for NO TOYS she still racked up like a little bandit (thanks everyone!!!) My dad even bought a POWERWHEELS BARBIE JEEP for her and Monkey. YAY! THEY LOVE IT!!!

Monkey is still petite, but at least it is summer now so her pants dont look like highwaters, they just fit like capris (LOL). She is talking more than ME (and everyone knows how hard that is ). She will be two in July (and her party is that day also, so come join us) and she is VERY ACTIVE!!!

My Mary Kay business is starting to take off. I make great money, have made wonderful new friends, have added 2 new team members and still have a few more potentials. Let me know if you'd like a complimentary facial (even if you are out of town/state, i have "facials in a bag" that I can mail).

We have Custody court next week for Monster (unless they move it again) and we are confident that it will all work out. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Pottery & Fish

Last week our family found something else we love to do together. I've been wanting to try out this cool little place called Dish'n. Its one of those "paint your own" pottery places. We let the girls paint magnets and we made a plate together as an anniversary present for Hubby's parents.

Then, today after a meeting with our attorney, Hubby and I decided to unwind by painting pottery. I made a "precious" piggy bank and Hubby made a "manly" beverage stein. I think he likes this place more than he lets on (today was his idea).

We took the girls fishing this morning. Monster actually picked up a cricket!!! Monkey just wants to cast and reel in the line, but hey, at least she's mastering the fundamentals early.

I can't believe our girls are growing up so fast and I love it, but hate it at the same time. They are both so independent, yet they need our love and guidance more each day.

Life is great!

(oh, & I turned 24 this week!)

Lions, Rockets, and More!

So, we joined the Zoo Society and Sci-works...with these memberships we can go to almost any zoo, aquarium, and science center all over the place. YAY! Our girls love animals and learning and we can't wait to wear out our passes. Our first trip to Sciworks was AWESOME!

Hubby is such a science nerd and I don't know who had more fun...him or the girls. Monster wanted to run around and do EVERYTHING. Monkey wanted to stay in the music room (mommy won't mind that at all) . Monkey slept through "The Cardboard Rocket" presentation in the Planetarium. Monster thought it was cool, but sooooo long. We agree.

Since the Zoo is 15 minutes from our home, we can go there all the time! I can't wait until summer. Monster wants to do Zoo camp...we'll see how that goes. Both girls love the Chimpanzees. Ashley's favorite is the "Bluppalos" (yes, i meant to spell it that way). Monkey loves the fish. I want to see the baby lions sooo bad! The new elephant exhibit will be done soon too! We have a "family plus" membership, so if you want to go, let me know.

We are having so much fun as a family with me being home and Hubby working nights. It is so great having this time together while the girls are young. Maybe if we establish "family time" now, it won't kill them to be seen with us in 10 years...LOL, we'll see.

March 15

Its pretty sad to think that a mom in today's world would treat their child as an object to control. I wouldn't be as angry if I thought she actually cared about the child's well being more than causing other people hurt. It's even worse that I have to watch it happen. I love our daughters very much and want nothing but the best for them. It hurts to think that another mother can't get past her own feelings of self-doubt and insecurities to give her child the best possibilities to succeed and grow. Just because you give birth to a child does not give you the right to control their every move. If you want something to control, buy a puppy.

Children should be raised to be independent, strong, and loving with respect and discipline. I don't want to be my children's friend. I want them to love, respect, and trust me. As long as they do that, I will give them anything within my reach (and even some things I have to stretch to get).

We are seeking full custody in order to provide a safe, stable, loving home for Monster. It is in her best interest not to have to go back and forth so much between her home and a hostile environment where her father and I are put down and belittled in front of her. A child should never be placed in the position that she has been in for her whole tiny life. We have our first court date on April 10. Please keep Monster in your thoughts and prayers everyone. Thanks for your support.

Stay At Home Mommy!

Ok everyone...I have decided to be a "stay at home mom" for a while. Matthew and I wrestled with this for a long time, but we've come to the conclusion that this is the best thing for all of us.

The girls will be at home with us during the day, he'll fight crime at night (LOL). I love being married to BATMAN...well, close to BATMAN.

I know that the girls will learn just as much from me as they would from preschool, especially since that is what I so...or did& and we're setting up play groups for the girls, so if you're interested, let me know.

I can't wait to spend everyday with my family!

Toys?

You know, its funny how people will fight for something and cause others to hurt just because they feel they deserve something...then once they get it, they don't even want it. Relationships, children, nothing is safe.Its like toddlers. If one puts down a toy, its ok. But the second another child wants the toy, they pitch a fit until they get it back. Then, they don't want it anymore. Women do it all the time..."I don't want it, but you can't have it either. If you do get it, I will make your life miserable until you give it back or you don't want it either."

NOTE:Women of the world, please stop degrading yourselves by ruining happy peoples relationships. If you are done with someone, be done. Don't keep bashing them. Let them have their space. Obviously, they weren't happy either, so stop trying to make it a point to say/do things or write on webpages what scum of the earth they are and what bad choices YOU made. All that does is show what kind of evil rests in your soul. If the relationship was that bad, why do you keep bringing it up? Unless there are still unresolved feelings, GET OVER YOURSELF.

It is said that children are a product of their environment as well as their physiology. I hope that in some cases environment will overtake biology. We try our hardest not to let strangers affect our children. However, what can you do when the negative influence is a family member? I've come to the realization that overcompensation would also be wrong. I won't use bribes as a means of "winning."

Our children will love and respect us because we love and respect them. They will follow our guidance because we use our behavior to model what we expect. If you are reading this after my last two entries, you'll have to take into account the following. I don't ever REGRET anything I say or do. Regrets only cause issues that can never be resolved. You can't change the past.

I will teach my children to stand up for themselves and for those who can't defend themselves, especially in the case of a child. No parent should treat their child as a pawn in the game we call life. If you think life isn't a game, think again. There are challenges, rewards, storylines, foes, allies, and hopefully at the end you can say "great game."

Every decision I have made in my life has given me what I consider a "great game" so far. I have allies, friends, and even a few foes. I know I will defeat the demons and overcome the challenges as long as I can trust my partner to be a rock when I need him as I will do the same.

There is not a moment that goes by that the future isn't affected by something someone says or does somewhere. It is our job as parents to make sure that we teach our children to turn to God and their families whenever they are faced with challenges, no matter how great or small.

That being said, Hubby, I love you and we will get through anything life throws at us as a team. You have a loving family, a great career, and the rest of your life to enjoy it all. Don't let anyone ruin that by getting under your skin. You can only be affected by what you let inside. Bounce the negative energy off as positive and life will only get better.

Reply

First off, you don't "piss me off". I have better things to worry about, like my children, than about whether or not you are angry or hurt or sad or anything else. I tried to be nice, I tried to be understanding. On a side note, this part makes no SENSE. Perhaps you were trying to say something else "good old fashoned comon sense that allows you to be pissed off at me all the time" but please elaborate if you would like me to understand.I do not believe you are making me out to be less of a person to Monster. I know where I stand with her.

However, it sure is funny how after a weekend with you she says things like "BM said you're not my mommy" & "BM said you are a mean girl and I don't have to listen to you." She doesn't just pull those things out of nowhere. She has heard them somewhere.I am not going off the deep end. I am responding to your passive-aggressive behaviors in the same way you presented them. You read a blog I posted about parenting and assumed it was about you. It was not, by the way. But, that's just another example of how YOU assume the world is only concerned with you. I don't know where you could have gathered that. If you think that I started this dialogue, go back and read that first one...it was all you!

In case you forgot, here is what you wrote: "I think that sometimes, we have 2 faces and when we want something we are willing to provide lip service and then change our opinion when others are around. Its pretty sad, but then we are all gulity. I also think that to make something about a childs best intrest is good. Yet, I also think that sometimes we forget who the mother and father is. Yes, everyone should love a child involved in a broken home, yet we should stand down and allow some parental decisions to be made wearhter we like them or not. And stop letting the parent that feels excluded, feel that way. Why would I have to make all the calls and what not. If this is a family that is supposed to pull together?"

Right there you tried to put me in my place. I don't give lip service. After three years you should know that I don't put up with lies. I don't need them. Why lie when the truth is just as much fun? I could give a flying flip who gave birth to her. Neither does she. I will never stand down on parental decisions because she is my daughter also. I will reiterate, decisions regarding her will affect BOTH households. Even if it the decision is only about you seeing her more. Case in point, Mondays. I don't object to her spending time with you. But any parent would agree that keeping a child in an office for two days straight is not only insane, but borderline abuse.

Even in childcare we are not allowed to let children stay inside all day. Also, when it will mean that I have to put Monkey in a car for 2 HOURS just to accommodate YOUR schedule, FORGET IT. Take that however you want. It is bad enough that you are making Monster sit in a car that long. I agreed to S. City (and so did you at dinner), one hour is the limit. Unless you were lying to my face when you said that you wouldn't want me to have to haul Monkey that far. You did not agree on pickup/dropoff times. You refused to drive here to pick her up for YOUR time.

Hubby agreed to drive to P. City every other Monday just to get you to shut up and let us have some family time. However, logistically, it may not be possible with his new work schedule, so be prepared. Also, I think you should be able to call US to discuss problems. Please do. Your limitations are laid out on paper. When and how often you can call, when you pick her up, and what we will discuss with you. If you are unsure, TALK to us about it. Don't call demanding to speak to Hubby.

Next, I know you could never replace me, believe me. As far as putting myself in your shoes, I don't have to worry about Monkey doing the same thing, because I didn't and won't leave her father to be with someone else. I can handle the problems life throws at me, no matter how hard they are. I think before I act & I won't have children with a man I am not going to spend the rest of my life with.The only decision you've had to "live with" is a haircut that MONSTER picked out and decided on. I am not going to apologize for that.

Just for the record, I could care less about "punishing you." God will do enough of that when you get there.I have never told you that you are unintelligent. No, I do not throw my education in your face. It is just a fact of life. If you are bothered by it, I will not apologize. Get over it. Also, if you are going to make it a point to show me that you are "not a blithering idiot" please have someone proofread your "work" before sending. It just makes me laugh even more when I am proven right. I don't need to "show out" (whatever that means).

You have neither right nor reason not to trust me. You are the one that just said it was a BLOG and that you should be able to express your feelings. That is all I am doing. Your own lack of confidence and self-destructive behaviors are the only things for you to fear. Things start going great and smooth in Monster's life and you can't stand it. Think back, you'll find it's never us to start the issues. We have only responded to your insecurities. This is why I know I haven't been wrong about you. You see things through your own perspective and spin them to make everyone else the bad guy.

Why do you think your dad wants nothing to do with you? He sees Monster through us because you treat him like everyone else in your life. If someone has something you want, you are right as rain. Once you get what you want, you treat them like shit. Not me anymore. You can deal with what you get. If you want something more, prove it. Stop lying and trying to manipulate. When you call, get off the defensive.

Realize this though, I will not be tread upon. I am a self-actualized person and I know I have more to offer than you are willing to listen to. I have never given you any misinformation. I have only offered tips and tools to help you raise Monster in the same manner we will so that she will have consistency. As a childcare professional with experience in birth through 12thgrade and the oldest of 6 children, I have knowledge that you as an only child with no prior experience with children could benefit from if you would only give it a chance. You are too busy trying to make me your enemy. You have from day one been jealous; admit it to yourself so that you can move past it.

One more thing, just for clarification, you could never put me down, because you would have to be superior to do that. I don't feel that you deserve the status of superiority to me, nor vice versa.